Family Failure

Ever considered what your service to your family is? I have always known mine and have always seasonally attended to it, unfortunately.

I see myself as a tree, likening to a tree of life. I just cannot shake that image even though it seems extreme to me.

In this vision, the tree is a source connected to the source, a source of light and life, a source of fruits they need.

In this vision, the tree is a portal. Remember Winnie the Pooh or any mystical movie in which they entered a different dimension at the bark or root of a tree?

In this vision, the tree is a shield, a shield from the weather as it changes, whether good or bad, this tree provides shade, a resting place.

In this vision, this tree is the protector of the garden.

In this vision, I see myself as a tree. The word ‘vision’ made itself present and I know that word, chosen to my fleshly ignorance, is of significant importance- Because I have often ran from my role in my family, this tree comes to me in a vision, one I aspire to make a reality.

What do I do AS the tree? How do I make it a reality?

I see it as my responsibility to cover them in prayer. Now, my mother is a PrAyInG woman and that has really saved me and us. I wholeheartedly believe that my life is the way it is now, our lives are the way it is now because of her ritual that she reminds us of before we step on every battlefield. That is, from the moment she found out she was pregnant with each of us, she went on her knees. In her words, from the moment she knew we were in her womb she consecrated us in prayer.

Now could it be that she is passing this down to me? Possibly. But I know it is my responsibility to take that to another level based on my spiritual gift/calling. And much like my other assignments, I’ve been running, running, running, running.

Arising from the water baptism day.

With a known responsibility like this and my inconsistent response, of course, I feel like I have failed my family.

Often I have said, “people are depending on you to pray”, and whenever I share that line, it's because I would have interceded or stood in the gap for someone, secretly and things are revealed to me after, or someone would have reached out with a prayer request. Then, I am reminded, “people are depending on you to pray”, on me to pray, on you to pray, then, I am reminded of the importance of prayer, community, support, and intercession.

The failure I feel- my family is depending on me to pray.

I still haven’t addressed the “How do I make it a reality?”.

See, family is a special component of your identity. They see what everyone does not, they know you more than others and sometimes it makes it difficult to be vulnerable with them. So then, yuh girl needs to submit to the process, she needs to humble herself and be open to change. I need to get back to praying and spending time with God when others are sleeping, you know? and I need to focus and stick to it because my people need me- they are depending on me to pray.

With the things I know, see, and feel while running, imagine if I make a turn and face my praying responsibilities.